I meant to write this evening about the positive side to having emotional extremes but there is something else that I feel is more urgent and more important. I hurt someone that I care deeply about yesterday. Someone that I care about more than I perhaps realised until today, and who perhaps cares about me … Continue reading TRUTH: I WILL NEVER DO IT.
My chest aches. This physiological response to anxiety and panic is now becoming more than I can endure and the pain is too much, both mentally and physically. I cannot put my finger on what I am panicking about in this particular instance, perhaps it is a culmination of everything that has happened because all … Continue reading I HAVE TO GO.
I've lived with chronic suicidal ideation for so long that I can't really remember what it feels like to not live with it. Sometimes I think about ways to actually end my life, other times I think about just never having existed, or disappearing in a way that erases all trace and memory of me. … Continue reading SUICIDAL IDEATION SAVES ME. FOR NOW.